Shh....Don't talk about it

It was bright day. There was a kitty party at a friend's. That meant"No Coooking". Yippee. The theme for the day was white. So I fished out a white salwar kameez from the big dump in the wardrobe and started brushing my hair. The TV was on and was enjoying the live telecast of Asian Games. Suddenly it struck. A shooting pain in the .....you know where. Again and again the spasms took the breath out of me. Though we all say the sentence each time someone is unpleasant, I knew for first time how bad it can get.

Tears rolled down without even crying. The pain was excruciating. I called my friends to let them know that I would not be able join them for the party. Immediately, they wanted to know the reason. Now how do you tell another person that you have a pain ....you know where. I said" tummyache". They said they are coming over to enquire. I could not stop them. So I gathered my courage to spell it out. They came with medicine, one of them being a doc's wife. I have pain around the openings , I said. Openings...what openings, the engineer's wife wanted to know. Thankfully the other understood. She was a Gastro's daughter too.

The pain was unbearable now. So I called hubby and he came over. My friends were there. I lost shame in pain. I burst out "My *&# is paining". Poor guy. He turned the deepest red. I could not stand straight. They helped me to the lift. On ground floor, the caretaker wanted to know what the problem was. Before I blurted out anything, poor hubby said "backache". At the hospital, the first attendant was a male. Hubby had gone to park the car. So this time over he was lucky not to hear it. They gave me an injection, ran me through tests including a scan and found nothing significant. But the pain killer helped.

And I learnt the meaning of the oft used phrase.

Latte does it again!



Trring Trring Trring
Latte: Oh! What is that sound?
Little Appu looks up from his complicated arrangement of toy cars and says nothing.
Latte: Oh! It is my mobile ringing! Silly me!
Little Appu looks down and continues his complicated arrangement of toy cars.
Latte promptly looks under the sofa and retrieves her mobile.
Latte: (To no one in particular)There you are, you little devil! Hey, it is Cappuccino!
Hello there!
Cappuccino: Hi Latte, How are you? What are you up to these days?
Latte: I am fine, I am fine. The usual, you know. But what about you? How is your job?
Cappuccino: Job is real good. Everything okay dokey.
Latte: That is great! Have..What the hell are you doing?
Cappuccino: What? I did not do anything!
Latte: No, no! Not you. My kid. He is….Oh no, you don’t!
Cappuccino: Er..maybe I will call some other time.
Latte: Anything you wanted to tell me?... Don’t cry dear!  I am coming!
(Screaming in the background)
Cappuccino: Yes. About the cuppacopy meeting that we were planning. We will meet on August 3rd.
Latte: August 2nd right? Yes, yes.
(Non-stop screaming)
Cappuccino: And my number is going to change. Please save it ok? I will give u a missed call.
Latte: Of course. Of course. Why are you crying for God’s sake? I am..
Phone disconnected.

August 2nd morning
Latte: Oh goody!! Today we are all going to meet, after atleast an year!!
Hubby: Yes, Yes. Told me that before. 
Latte: We will start early. Or we will be late.
Hubby: Obviously.
Latte: 4 o’clock at ABCD Mall.
Hubby: Yep! Got it. Hurray.
Later by 4 o’ clock, Hubby, Latte and Little Appu on the way…
Hubby: By the way, you are sure of the date, right? Usually people tend to meet on Sundays. And today is Saturday FYI.
Latte: (With a look of smugness) I am sure, of course.
Hubby: Why don’t you just call up someone?
Latte: Nah! No need for that.. I clearly remember Cappuccino saying that it is on the August 2nd.

At the mall. 4.10 p.m.
Latte: Why isn’t anyone here?
Hubby: (Exasperated) Now will be a good time to call.
Latte : Er.. sure. Let me see. I will call Cappuccino.
Latte dials number. ‘The mobile you are calling is switched off. Please try again later.’
Hubby glaring.
Latte: (trying a winning smile) Let me try Espresso.
Trring Trring…
Espresso: Hello Latte!
Latte: Hi!! Where are you?
Espresso: At home. Why? Are you coming here?
Latte: No. The get together…er..?
Espresso: Oh God, Latte! The meet is tomorrow! Don’t tell me you are at the mall.
Latte: (In a small voice) I won’t.
Espresso: You are the limit, Latte. You should have called and confirmed!! How did this happen?
Latte: Oh, it’s okay. It is the mall, after all…Lots of things to do..And we were planning to come here…on consecutive days?!!
Espresso: So tomorrow you will come, right?
Latte: (With a furtive glance at Hubby) Yea, hopefully.
Espresso: Ok then. Bye
Next day, Latte met Espresso, Cappuccino, KK and Suze. Espresso scolded Latte for not using Whatsapp. If she were on Whatsapp such a thing would not have happened. And Cappuccino scolded her for not saving her new number, when she had told her specifically to do it.
 
Later on, Latte joins Whatsapp…
(To be continued…)

(P.S. The incidents described here may have been hugely exaggerated or distorted beyond recognition, purely for entertainment purposes. Poor little Appu could have been framed by someone's extraordinary absent-mindedness. For all you know, this incident may not have happened at all. :)

Dedicated to all absent-minded mothers! :) 

LATTE