This blog dates back to 2010 when Cappu (yours truly) was only 22. It was a time when my parents were busy groom-hunting for my sister and opinionated as I am, I had more to say on my sister's prospective grooms than the bride-to-be herself. I was quick to find fault in the boys and kept chanting "It's about your life. Think, think, think!" in her ears. And when finally my parents and sister zeroed in on the 'The One' for her, I was the last one to say 'I do...accept you as my BIL'.
My sister's first words to me after she got hitched were, "I can't wait to see the drama that unfolds when Acha and Amma start groom-hunting for you." The line was delivered with a smirk followed by an evil narrowing of the eyes. And then she turned and walked away in slow-motion like a nayi-naveli dulhan in an Ekta Kapoor soap.
I was more amused than alarmed back then. I mean, earthquakes and floods come, terrible things happen to people, yet we go on believing that these things won't happen to us. I guess I saw marriage that way. I knew it had to happen some day yet it seemed very distant. Something I never gave serious thought to... until that fateful night when my father created my matrimonial profile on some site.
My parents busied themselves with going through profiles and short-listing while I pulled my hair and flexed my facial muscles in all possible directions - downward. This was not fun. Funny, sometimes, but never fun. And the Pennukanals (I went through 5) were another silly affair. I won't take you through the Pennukanal (boy meets girl ceremony) ceremonies as they were just plain...awkward.
The boy's people would ask me a couple of questions, and then the boy would smile at me, I would grin back, and then one of the elders would ask us to speak in "private". And this would be said when the boy would be sipping his tea or nibbling a biscuit and the poor fellow would be caught unaware and that would set the others giggling and so on. So yeah, let's not get into the shitty-gritty.
I met the man I am going to marry (the fifth and final one) through my uncle. He knew 'the boy' personally and thought this guy would be a good match for me. Meanwhile both families went and matched the horoscopes and the 'panikker' or astrologer gave his seal of approval.
Our first phone call, before we saw each other, lasted about 20 minutes. And with each phone call, the time only kept going up. If two strangers could talk to each other for so long without looking down at the watch there definitely was something to it. The phone calls went on for about 2 weeks after which the boy flew down from Muscat to meet me. Hence, the Pennukanal was only just a ritual, but even then, drama queen that I am, I kept wondering...should I , shouldn't I?
He was all smiles and confidence. When the elders let us alone to "get to know each other" (they had no clue that we had been hooked to the phone for the past two weeks) he started off like we had left off some conversation on the phone. He enthusiastically spoke about some interesting people on the flight he met but one look at my nervous face, and he started looking squeamish too.
"So..." I began after he abruptly stopped the flight story.
"So... what do you think now that you have "seen" me in person? You look tense, by the way. There is nothing to be tense. No one is going to force you into anything..."
"Oh..it's not that. I am just...a bit nervous. Would it be okay if I move to Muscat without finding a job?"
"As I told you earlier, it won't be a problem but things would be much more comfortable if you have a job too."
"Is there anything else you want to ask me?" he asked, clearly thinking that there wasn't anything I hadn't already asked over the phone.
Before I could say anything, elders from the boy's side walked in to show the 'time out' sign. They were laughing and joking and clearly having a lot of fun.
The elders exchanged smiles and see-you-soon's and the boy did not forget to play with Sidhu, my 3 year old nephew.
After they left, an intense discussion followed. My people, including the hard-to-please cousins, really liked him and they all wanted to know what I thought. I took a deep breath and said "Yes...". This time, without the confusion, but still not being able to believe that I was going to get married.
And so, on the same day the engagement date was fixed as the boy had to leave within a week. We met on a Sunday, everything was set on the same day, and on Friday we got engaged! It was as simple as that.
And in less than a couple of months, 'the boy' will be my 'husband'. I really have to get used to all this now. 'Hello, meet my husband..', 'Hi, I am his wife..' Very, very odd. And I still can't figure out how these things work out. I used to think it would be good to have a husband who reads. So that when we have nothing else to talk about, we can discuss books. And contrary to my expectations I am getting hitched to a guy who doesn't read at all but is enthusiastic about buying me a good book shelf and talks of setting up a mini-library. My reflexes are like that of a toddler and he is totally into crafts, decor and the kind. I love my food spicy, he likes it more or less bland. I have a sweet tooth, he prefers staying away from the sweets. While our tastes vary on a lot of things,we have several common grounds too. :)
Well, all the drama could have been cut out if I had met him sooner. But things happen when they have to happen and not when you want them to happen. So yes, I am a bride-to-be! Found the one who completes me. Yay! That's what marriage is all about, right? Understanding, caring, sharing, loving, and complementing each other with a lot of other ing's. I am sure we'll do well. Okay, now's the time to reassure me. Best wishes, prayers, hugs - bring them on!
And if you are wondering why I ranted on about the origin of this blog in 2010, then here's the story. Espresso, Latte and KK have been people who have been with me through all these times. Right from 2010 when we met. They had a sensible and sometimes not-so-sensible suggestion for every subject under the sun. Not exaggerating. KK even has a clue about the mysteries around the Bermuda Triangle. And even through the pennukanal phase, they always had some words of wisdom to share. So here's to my awesomesauce friends. You girls, rock! :D